The cost of education.......

My wife and I talked about one of the couples that had been at the center for about three months. When they initially came, they had problems they believed were insurmountable and thought that a new start (without each other) might be the best option. They told us we were the last stop before the courts!

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We did what we almost always do: ask for a week for every year of marriage (or six weeks if married for less than six years). We gave them some tools the first week, gave them homework assignments every week, and held them accountable individually for their progress. We told them it took a while to get into this mess; it would take a while to get out. However, they should start seeing improvement in three or four weeks. They did, and although the couple is still working towards the relationship they both want, they are happy with the one they now have and no longer need us to continue growing. 

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Now let's consider the cost. The couple came in once a week for twelve weeks, costing about $360 monthly. After three months, they were ready to leave. 

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Had they gone the other route (starting over with another person), the average attorney fee would be around $250 per hour, with an amicable divorce costing between $3500 and $5000. Of course, since each of them would have had to have an attorney, this would be double. Unfortunately, this money comes from the same set of assets (the couple's home, retirement, etc.), so if money were an object, this would change the standard of living for both them and their children. And money doesn't even count the cost to the extended family.

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What we teach here is not rocket science. We are not physicists. Relationships are learned behavior. We offer hope through practical education (communication tools) and spiritual growth (teaching how to love). We are grateful for the couples who see us before trying other options. 

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It's not a "cost" but an investment. Not only will this couple use the tools they now have, but they will also teach their children to use them. Now, that's what we call a good return on investment!