Why is this so hard.......
When we were dating, I loved her, and she loved me. The kids were happy when we were together, and we had so much fun with the picnics at the park. We all got along so well together.
It seemed no sooner than we married, my spouse took sides with "their" children when I thought they were supposed to be "ours." It's a battle to finish homework, and I can't remember when someone decided to cooperate! It was supposed to be easy! Something must be wrong with us because other people don't have this much trouble.
Yes, they do. And what's going on has nothing to do with if you genuinely love each other. Believe it or not, a lot of this stuff is typical. Now that you know you're not crazy (and neither is your family), let me give you something to consider.
We use the term "blended families." Since we use this term, we tend to think of it this way. Blenders combine ingredients quickly, but everything loses its individuality and is part of a combined whole. It would be terrible to lose "everything" that you ever knew if you were a child!
Try thinking of the term "crock pot." You put all of the items in the same place, but you heat and cook slowly. In this way, each ingredient (or person) never loses its identity. Over time, everyone learns their new place without losing their old relationships.